American foreign policy in
the Middle East has now entered Bizarro World–a
place made humorously famous by comedian Jerry Seinfeld, describing a parallel
universe where “up is down, down is up,” and where the opposite of what one
expects occurs. Seinfeld was riffing off the comic book character Bizarro, the
parallel character to Superman, who lived on a strange planet called Htrae
(Earth spelled backwards).
Well, welcome to the Elddim Tsae. It’s a place where long-standing
state sponsors of terrorism Iran, Syria, and Sudan are basking in the warmth of
America’s evolving Middle East policies, while long-standing American allies
Israel, Saudi Arabia, Egypt, and others are increasingly sidelined.
Iran, a country that has
sponsored nearly every terrorist group on the planet and is now hurtling toward
a nuclear weapon, is the biggest winner in the Elddim Tsae. Newly elected
President Hassan Rouhani has Washington eating out of his hands after a charm
offensive consisting of 140-character
vows promising moderation, even as his boss, Supreme Leader Ali
Khamenei, keeps the centrifuges spinning. The Obama administration is now
mulling a grand
nuclear bargain, which will provide Iran sanctions relief in
exchange for vague promises of change.
Syria is also benefiting
from America’s Bizarro Doctrine. In the span of days, America went from
threatening punitive strikes against Bashar al-Assad’s regime for launching a
chemical-weapons attack on his own people to enlisting Assad as a partner in
his own disarmament, and then praising
him for compliance he has yet to deliver on. Even if Assad does
fully disarm, he will effectively have a green light to get back to the
business of mowing down the Syrian opposition, which fights to end his family’s
decades-long dictatorship.
Then there is Sudan, where
the leadership has been indicted for genocide and which provided a headquarters
to al-Qaeda in the 1990s. Khartoum is now indicating that ties
with Washington are warming. This comes after two cordial meetings
between Sudan’s foreign minister and Secretary of State John Kerry, first in
New York and then Washington.
On the flip side of our
parallel universe is Saudi Arabia. Admittedly, Riyadh is more of a frenemy. But
America’s Saudi policy, designed to maintain good ties to the ruling family and
access to an affordable and steady supply of their oil, has never wavered–until
now.Riyadh
is outwardly displeased with America’s warming ties to its
arch-foe Iran, with fears that an ascendant Iran could pose a direct threat to
the Kingdom’s stability. Washington’s recent lifeline to Syria, after months of
calling for Assad’s removal, also has the Saudis seething.
Turkey and Qatar, it should be noted, are equally vexed by
Washington’s Syria policy, prompting both countries to consider charting their
own courses, which may involve the co-opting of jihadi groups to fight the
Assad regime.
Egypt, another ally of the United States, has also recently fallen
victim to the Bizarro Doctrine. To be sure, Egypt has brought many of its
problems upon itself. The military’s toppling of the Muslim Brotherhood’s
Mohamed Morsi was not its finest moment. But Washington has now taken it upon
itself to cut aid to Egypt, dismantling an alliance that could require years to
properly rebuild.
Then there is Israel, which is reeling from America’s decision to
cut aid to Egypt. That aid was a cornerstone of the 1978 Camp David Accords, a
peace agreement that has kept Israel’s southern flank quiet since the Accords
were inked. It now is entirely unclear whether Cairo will want to uphold that
agreement. The Israelis are further unnerved by America’s backtracking on Syria,
particularly after Washington enlisted its help in calling for military
intervention. And finally, the rapprochement with Iran has the Israelis
wondering whether America will have its back when Tehran invariably makes that
final dash for the bomb.
Fittingly, Bizarro World
was first depicted by DC
Comics in 1960. Today, Washington D.C. has become a parallel
universe of a superpower’s foreign policies of the past.
